Posts Tagged 'websites'

Tom Cruise boards his own belated website train

Mr. Tom Cruise, hater of psychology, couch enthusiast, scientologist extraordinaire, and finally movie star, has launched a website dedicated to who else? Tom Cruise.

Tom Cruise owns the world

First and foremost, as you enter the sugar-bloated website, we are introduced to the slow build of xylophone music (which to me, sounds like it was ripped off American Beauty). It eventually transitions into a cacophonic montage of various Tom Cruise theatrical performances with the thundering music from Space Odyssey. Really Tom? Really? Over done? No! It’s perfect because after all, no one loves Tom Cruise more than you know who…

Hate him all you want but I won’t lie, I really like a lot of his movies. Heck, I can’t even think of an absolutely TERRIBLE Tom Cruise movie. However, I checked out the website, with all the flashy toys and images that pervade every inch of it. It’s an absolutely candy website. It’s so busy and well, lame. The site is sprinkled with superbly airbrushed photos of the 45-year old Tom and littered with publicity enhancing advertisements about his appearance on Oprah round deuce.

The root of what I am getting at here is this: there’s nothing to do on it except bask in the glory of all that is Tom Cruise. It has a saccharine-coated “biography” with a list of his movies with flashy images and animations to make it appear interesting. I’d rather go read his wikipedia page than this load of excrement. Yes I know, people can lie on wikipedia, but it’s far more interesting than this multi-million dollar website that has far more security and man-power behind it than a small African country.

Go check it out, it has a simple web address: and you can read a rad message from him describing why he created the website: “to show people how much fun I have.”

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