Archive for the 'incredulous happenings' Category

How much does a criminal record cost? $46.07.

Lindsey Evans, this year’s Miss Louisiana Teen USA, was arrested along with three other friends for skipping out on a $46.07 restaurant bill.

Lindsey Evans  From Beauty Queen to Criminal Mastermind.

Now her mugshot is all over the Internet. The 18-year-old beauty queen was arrested this past Saturday and was not only charged with theft, but also marijuana possession…which was later found in her purse…that she left back at the restaurant.

Poor girl, she won’t be remembered for the swimsuit contest or her flute playing talents, but the fact that she decided not to pay a $46.06 bill. Look what happens when you don’t pay for your food, you get a mugshot on the internet and a spot on “the World’s Dumbest Criminals” on Spike TV.

Read the story and see the mugshot here. I can’t believe I blogged about this, but it’s just too ridiculous to pass up.

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The Schwarzenegger Rabbit

German Rabbits on Steroids
German Rabbits on Steroids

18.5 pounds. 2 and a half feet long. Ears that are 2 feet long. This is Robert, is a breed of rabbit called a giant gray. Karl Szmolinsky breads these rabbits in the backyard of his home in Eberswalde Germany. Mr. Szmolinsky said the largest one he ever breed was 23 pounds.

Little known fact: apparently Mr. Szmolinsky  sold about eight of his giant greats to a delegation from North Korea that wanted to raise the breed as an alternative source of meat for the North Korean population.

I want one as a pet, these dinosaur-esque rabbits. It is safe to say that I now believe there are rabbits out there that can legitimately eat my face off.

Bigfoot Eludes Again

Bigfoot gets away…again…

After the dust settled surrounding the media hoopla on the Bigfoot carcass by John Dyer and Matthew Whitton while hiking a Georgia national park, all has been proven to be a hoax.

After I found out, my worldview came crashing down and I even posted a blog about it expressing my belief that this was a real thing. I severely apologize if you came to think it was real on my accord. I kid. The ‘carcass’ of Bigfoot in the photo is actually a Halloween costume frozen with some animal guts thrown in for a ‘realistic’ effect. You can read the ABC News article here. Once again, I’ll reiterate what I said in a previous post, a guy wearing matching camouflage shorts and t-shirt cannot be trusted.

These guys spend their days after working at the sawmill or coal mine, shooting shotguns, drinking Budweiser, watching football and king of the hill, all while sitting in front of their trailers in a sofa. I’d easily trust them. I hope they start a search for Loch Ness and UFO’s.

Bigfoot Found!

Bigfoot: You sneaky little punk, we finally got you (apparently)

Apparently, a few guys in Georgia found Bigfoot, stuffed him in a freezer, took pictures and got an article in the NY Times. Click here for the full article, the picture of the Bigfoot carcass and three guys that caught him. In my opinion, this is the real deal. Just look at the guys who caught him. Completely credible. Whoever wears a camo t-shirt/short combo is totally an expert in the Bigfoot field. I love America.

The wrong end of the spectrum

The tragedy that struck Canada last week on the Greyhound bus is one that has caught the attention of the world. The way the murder occured  sounds as if it was culled from a movie. Tim McLean was murdered by Vincent Li with no apparent cause or motivation. I’m not going to go into the gruesome details, but you can read it here.

I personally think that the attention the murder story is getting is absolutely crazy. People die by the thousands worldwide but we never hear about them, but when it happens in a gruesome and terrible way, people pay attention to it, or at least the media does.

However, I ran into an interesting article about a church declaring themselves as “Christians” from the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas get front page news attention for claiming that the murder of Mr. McLean was an indication that God is punishing Canada for their sins. The church, led by pastor Fred Phelps, have led protest and pickets on various issues around North America. 

 Fred Phelps thinks 33,000,000 million people are evil.

Some of the members plan on picketing the funeral of Tim McLean. Shirley Phelps, the daughter of Fred Phelps said, 

“We’re trying to get you to see that your rebellion against the standards of God, your disobedience to the commandments — your idols, your false gods, your filthy ways have brought wrath upon your head.”

You can read the full article here. This just shows that a small minority of people within a group giving the larger majority of the group a bad image. These are the people getting attention because they create unneeded and unwarrented controversy. I’m not going to go into a tirade or anything like that about this group of people. That’s not my job, I just want you to read about it and make your own call.

Odd ways to go the way of the buffulo

We all die. It’s a fact. Most people die, excuse my crudeness, in boring ways. The number one killer in North America is heart disease at a whopping 28.5 percent. Closely behind is cancer at 22.8 and stroke is a distant third at 6.7 percent. Basically, the top 15 leading causes of death contain 11 that are related to disease. The other 4 are not health-related. We have homicide at a lowly 0.7, suicide at 1.3, accidents at 4.1, and finally the “other” category at 17.4 percent.

What is this ‘other’ cause of death? I think I may have found out. How would you like to live your life and randomly die by some ridiculous way? On the other hand, dying of a disease is sad/boring/lame/not interesting and it’s something you can’t control. Let me show you some examples of preposterous ways of kicking the bucket, or more specifically, tripping over the bucket and dying.

She was no Houdini.

This woman from New York, Carol Gotbaum, died trying to escape from police. No, she didn’t get shot down in a desperate escape. No, she didn’t careen off the highway on a high speed chase. She died by strangling herself trying to escape out of handcuffs.

The worst kind of afterglow.

In 2007, an unlucky cab driver found two bodies. One of a man and another of a woman, both attire-less and dead at a base a 50 story building in Columbia, South Carolina. Apparently the authorities found their clothing and identification at the top of the building. They died while having sex

This?

Or this? You choose.

 The girl on the right chose the latter.

The girl on the right, Jennifer Strange, died of water intoxication during a “Hold Your Wee for a Wii” contest in Sacramento, California. Can we say that the Wii is boring after 20 minutes and is only fun when you’re drunk. Oh…one more thing, she came in second. If you’re going to die for a Wii, you better well come in first place.

Every nerd’s worst nightmare.

A 28-year-old Korean named Lee Seung Seop, (p.s. I am so ashamed. Way to represent my race, man), died in an Internet cafe after playing 50 straight hours of Star Craft.

Bears are not your friend, they will eat your face.

You might have heard this guy, Timothy Treadwell, the subject of that documentary, ‘Grizzly Man.’  He lived with Grizzly bears in Alaska for 13 summers and one day, he was half-eaten by one while another ate his girlfriend. I used to live in Alaska, bears will eat you and they don’t want to be your friend. Period.  

Note to self: Don’t use a real bomb when threatening yourself.

Brian Wells, rigged himself with a bomb around his neck and proceeded to rob a bank. This pizza deliveryman hatched the grandest of schemes that would make a heist in Ocean’s 11 seem tame. He would tell people that someone told him to rob a bank or the bomb around his neck would go off if he didn’t. Well, Brian forgot that he inadvertently made a real bomb and it went off. Thanks Brian, you still make people smile, four years later.

Would you hurl yourself at a window 24 stories high? I think not.

Canadian attorney Garry Hoy in Toronto wanted to show a group of potential lawyers how unbreakable the windows of the Toronto-Dominion Bank Tower were by hurling himself at them. After two demonstrations and 24 stories later, Mr. Hoy met the ground.

Deadly? Yes.

 Scarves + Dancers + Cars = Death

Isadora Duncan is a legendary dancer, but in 1927, she got herself into an ultimate fight against a car wheel. While riding in an automobile in Nice, France, her long silk scarf got caught in the wheel and dragged her until she died before the driver realized she had fallen off. Moral of the story? Don’t wear fashionable silk scarves in an open top car.

Not wearing coats in cold weather is still cool right?

My dad is actually a descendant from ninth president of the United States, William Henry Harrison. The lame thing about him is that he died one month into his term. The even lamer thing about his death is that he died because he didn’t wear a coat during in inageral speach. He died a month later of pneumonia.

The Instrument of Death.

This guy was defeated by the weakest of man-made objects.

You would think because of the picture I showed of nose spray that this guy must have bit the bullet in a very cool way. Not at all. While using his nose spray in his New York Hotel room in 1983, the nose spray lid fell down his throat and he choked to death, alone. You live your life and it culminates to a battle with a piece of plastic. Sad.

Well, I hope this post was informative, educational and entertaining. Whether your cause of death is caused by holding in your pee in a ludicrous contest or succumbing to the wills of a bottle lid, I trust that you will take a moment to see how death is eminent. I’m not trying to be morbid or morose in any way, I just want to point out that there is a 17.1 percent chance of dying in the ‘other’ category, which can make you famous posthumously. I mean really, why not go out with a bang like this guy…

When you’re 73, you have nothing to lose. Right?

Karl Wallenda, the patriarch of the circus act, ‘the Flying Wallendas’ was trying to maintain his balance on a high wire at the ripe age of 73 in San Juan, Puerto Rico. This video snapshot was the last recording Karl would ever be on. Instead of living out his golden years in a retirement home to eventually succumb to the 50 percent chance of dying from either a stroke or heart attack, Karl went the brave, more infamous 17.1 percent ‘other’ death category. Way to be Karl. You are remembered.

A rug or an island? You decide.

How would you like to wipe your feet on 4.45 million dollars worth of thread? Apparently, in an auction, a Persian rug (formerly owned by a tobacco Duchess who probably owned cats and lived alone) from the 16th or 17th century, sold for 4.45 million dollars. It’s 7 by 5 feet long; that brings the cost of each square inch to $729.87. 46 square inches of this rug would sustain me and more for an entire year.

Do you know how many problems this rug would solve if I had it? Just one: Llss dirt on my shoes.

I would love to meet the imbecile who purchased this rug. Why don’t you get something cool like a Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton for your solarium or an island in the Caribbean. Sadly, I’ve lost all respect for this person who would invest this much money into a buddle of 300 year old thread. The island is about a million dollars cheaper! We live in a sad world when the average yearly gross income of 148.5 individuals is spent on a dirt collector.

Kirsten Hubbard, a travel expert from About.com said islands are affordable, ranging from 400,000 dollars into the millions. She said that “a sixty-five acre Isla Paradita in Panama sells for $3.7 million, and boasts four miles of coastline, comfortably appointed guest cottages, pre-Colombian stonewalls remaining from the original indigenous inhabitants, forested pathways, and paradisaical preserved waters.”

A rug or a private tropical island all to yourself? 

Islands and dinosaur skeletons are cool. A rug is not cool. Period. The buyer wanted to remain anonymous. No wonder, because that person will be ridiculed of by everyone (except for rug collectors/lovers and people who own cats) for the rest of their life. That person is now known as “the douche bag who bought a rug instead of an island.”

You can read the news article here.


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