Archive for September, 2008

Huffington Attacks the Hipster!

I know, it is of poor taste to post two things on the same topic or the same subject, but perhaps it led to inspiration. I concede that sometimes what must be done has to be done and today I posted two posts on the same subject.

While reading the news on the political soap opera that is the United States Presidential Election, I was reading the much controversial (and sometimes reviled) webnewsblog, the Huffington Post, when I came across this little peppy article that holds much contempt to the hipster fashion scene. The writer of this article, Verena von Pfetten, does correlate some interesting celebrity and pop culture figures with the hipster fashion trends to make her points. Read the article here.

But hey, it’s all fun and games, we wear what we want to wear because we want wear them to right? We wear what we wear to rage against the machine! However, a graphic designer named Rob Dobi (who has infamously designed work for such talent-heavy bands like the Used (ugh), Angels and Airwaves (gross) and Fall Out Boys (no comment), but has more recently invested his time into his clothing line Full Bleed) is a talented artist and his work has been featured on various record companies and magazines.

However, he redeemed himself and in turned washed his hands of his interactions with Fall Out Boy in my eyes with this entertaining website called yourscenesucks.com, which is basically a scientific, anthropological look at the scenster lifestyle. Here’s a few examples, but really, check out the site you should get a guffaw, grin, chuckle or a harty har har out of it.

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Sub-Culture Bingo

We have a ridiculous amount of genres and versions for the game of Monopoly, ranging from Stars Wars to Harley Davidson. There’s even a highly controversial variant that used to be sold in Urban Outfitters called Ghettopoly. I think the title explains itself, needing very little description as to what the game entails. Let’s just say that hotels were replaced with crack houses. Read the USA Today article as to why the game was pulled here.

Lo and behold, the timeless game of Bingo now has a sub-culture variant for those who love (or hate) the hipster world. Simply called Hipster Bingo. I can’t wait for the Valley Girl, Guido, Jock, Athlete/Sporty, Nerd/Geek, Hip-Hop, Emo, Yuppie, Goth, Chach, Artsy Kid and Frat/Sorority-Bingo versions to come out. I may be onto something huge. Then again, probably not.

Playing Bingo is Hip!

Playing Bingo is Hip!

Office Policy from the Devil

I had previously posted a blog about defeating the boredom beat in the office awhile ago. As much as it saddens me to post another one, I am going to do it. Office work life is about as exciting as watching linoleum curl or listening to a pool filter suck leaves.

This guy is either bored, wants to kill you or modeling for a GQ ad. Whichever it is, Google says that this is what "bored in office" looks like.

This guy is either bored, wants to kill you or modeling for a GQ ad. Whichever it is, Google says that this is apparently what "bored at the office" looks like

This post is about new offices policies…and yes, this was circulated in an email at my work. As funny and irreverent as these policies are, strangely they are true.

New Office Policy

Dress Code:

  • You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
  • If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
  • If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
  • If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:

We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the ‘Chronic Offenders’ category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company’s mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

  • Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
  • Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
  • Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

Taking the ‘mum’ out of of Minimum

You may have seen a few of his magazine covers for the New Yorker or you may have not. As high profile as the New Yorkeris, Richard McGuire’s reputation rests on the small shoulders of his thin body of work. However, I ran across some of his work and I really admire them. He is relatively unknown, just try searching for him off Google.

His illustrations are extremely simple and minimalist , but they are endearing. He dabbles in all types of media, from web design and animation to children’s books and illustrations. He primarily focuses his work on illustrations for the press, but he has created his own line of toys as well. Mr. McGuire is renowned for his graphic design innovations because he combines drawing, paper cutouts and vectoral drawings.

One of my favorite movies, Catch Me If You Can, also has one of my favorite opening credit scenes and Richard McGuire’s work is very similar in my opinion. Here is some of his work.

A little slice of calculated life: Photos of North Korea

 

One, Among Many.

The Boston Globe has made some of the best photo essays that I have seen as of late. I have included a few photos from their essays and articles as my photo of the week. However, their entire photo essays are usually fantastic. They are very real, showing real people in real circumstances and events. We read, hear, watch and see the news everywhere, but sometimes one picture can tell an entire story.

This photo collection is of North Korea, where the only pictures shown are usually state-controlled and or produced. Check it out here.

You can get a sense of control and restrictions through the pictures themselves. Everything looks produced, slick and almost fake. The people and environments depicted in the photos are uniform, calculated and preconceived. No wonder we know very little of what actually goes on in North Korea.

 

Thing that annoyed Jered this week

People who run in khaki shorts.

Khaki Shorts
Khaki Shorts
+
Running/Jogging
Running/Jogging

 =

Jered annoyed

I went for a run yesterday. I saw two different people running in khaki shorts. Please, don’t do it. Khaki’s are not only uncomfortable and heavy, they look weird when you run in them. Khaki shorts are made for three things; safari’s, suburban barbeques and office picnics.

The Schwarzenegger Rabbit

German Rabbits on Steroids
German Rabbits on Steroids

18.5 pounds. 2 and a half feet long. Ears that are 2 feet long. This is Robert, is a breed of rabbit called a giant gray. Karl Szmolinsky breads these rabbits in the backyard of his home in Eberswalde Germany. Mr. Szmolinsky said the largest one he ever breed was 23 pounds.

Little known fact: apparently Mr. Szmolinsky  sold about eight of his giant greats to a delegation from North Korea that wanted to raise the breed as an alternative source of meat for the North Korean population.

I want one as a pet, these dinosaur-esque rabbits. It is safe to say that I now believe there are rabbits out there that can legitimately eat my face off.


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